Hedge Fund Telemetry Presidential Debate Drinking Game

First of all, the debate starts at 9 pm ET so it’s not advised to get your pre-debate buzz going too early as it’s a 90-minute debate which will have many drinking moments or triggers.  Second, we have categorized them as “Very Small Sips” with a limit of 3 frequent phrases, “Sips” with policies and other talking points, and “Shots” if the wheels come off. Third, this is all for fun, drink responsibly, and we have no bias with either candidate.

Trump

Very small sips (limit to 3 times) each time he says:  

Huge, tremendous, big, fantastic, incredible, very strong, disgraceful, believe me, witch hunt, fake news, under audit, beautiful, nasty, mean, hoax, genius, Obama, coup, Russia, Putin, Mueller, Antifa, we’ll see how it goes, unfair, drug prices, repeats the end of the sentence for emphasis.

Regular sips:

  • Calls Joe Biden “Sleepy Joe”
  • Mentions Crooked Hillary, Crazy Bernie, Mini Mike, Pocahontas, Crazy Nancy
  • Says Biden is on drugs or should take a drug test
  • Law and order/Antifa/Portland/Chicago/New York
  • Mentions Democratic-controlled states for blame
  • Talks about his businesses as successful
  • Says how the IRS or media treats him badly
  • His taxes are under audit and how he wants to release his taxes
  • Mentions getting rid of Obamacare
  • Mentions NY Times, CNN, or “Lamestream Media” on how he’s been treated
  • Nobody’s seen anything like it regarding his support
  • Stock market gains under his watch, extra sip for mentioning 401k’s
  • Best economy ever under his watch
  • China Virus
  • Says we will have a vaccine in weeks
  • Says he’s done a great job:  economy, jobs, for farmers, blacks, steel
  • Mentions one of his family members
  • Mentions Hunter Biden – extra sip if he says “Where’s Hunter?”
  • Voter fraud, mail-in ballots, voter ID
  • He built the wall
  • Tax cuts and/or Biden will raise taxes
  • Any time he refers to himself as “Donald J. Trump”
  • Refers to evangelicals and their support
  • Mentions how he should get a Nobel prize
  • Says Biden will ruin the economy and the stock market will crash
  • Says Biden will take your guns

Biden

Very small sips (limit to 3 times) each time he says:  

Liar, taxes, Obama, Affordable Care Act, Kamala Harris, China, Russia, Putin, unions, my plan, transparency, policy, unqualified, look, the fact of the matter, finishes the sentence with ‘in fact’ or ‘period’, I’ve met with Presidents, it’s clear, COVID, masks, middle class, solar power, Climate Change, Here’s the deal, Black lives matter, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, it’s no mystery, white supremacist, offers several points to a question.

Regular sips:

  • Says on day one he would do something
  • Large companies will pay more taxes
  • More money available for minorities to borrow
  • Wealthy have to pay their fair share
  • Nobody making under $400,000 will pay more taxes
  • Wall Street greed – Wall Street vs Main Street
  • Scranton vs Park Avenue
  • I’m the only person who: beat the NRA, did healthcare etc
  • Mentions his son who passed away
  • Mentions his dad with a story of what he said to him
  • Mentions his wife (bonus shot if he forgets her name)
  • Calls Trump racist
  • Says he will ban assault rifles
  • Will put more money into schools
  • Says some word that hasn’t been used in 50 years such as Malarkey
  • Mentions a celebrity who endorsed him

if the wheels come off take a full shot when:

trump

  • Says a bad word such as shit or fuck
  • Does not agree to the peaceful transfer of power if he loses
  • He goes over the top insulting Biden (up for your interpretation)
  • He attacks Chris Wallace and Fox News
  • Walks off stage

Biden

  • Completely botches something he’s trying to say with the wrong number or name of the person or historical event.
  • If he forgets the question
  • Says “you know that thing” when he loses his train of thought
  • Brings up a story that has no relevance or is cringeworthy
  • Plagiarizes someone else’s speech
  • Proposes “Wealth Tax” – sell 100 S&P futures too
  • Falls off stage